Dylan Jonathan Lane

In late August, I started kicking hard enough for Daddy to feel. About this time, he started talking to me a lot about something called “football.” I didn’t understand it completely, but I got the basic idea.

A few days before the football games started, on an evening when I was doing a lot of kicking, Daddy asked me who I thought would win the Superbowl that year. He said that he would start naming different teams, and that I should kick when I heard the name of the winning team.

He started with some names like “Patriots,” “Saints,” and “Steelers” but I refused to kick, even though he gave me long pauses to kick. As he got to names like “Chargers” and “Dolphins,” he started leaving me less time to kick between names.

Finally, he started hurrying through teams like “Browns,” and “Bills” before I heard the one I liked …

“Seahawks” he said … and I kicked as hard as I could, before he could rush on to another team! Daddy laughed, told me that the Seahawks were an awful team, and mentioned something about getting me to watch more ESPN … whatever that is.

The next morning, Daddy told Mommy and all his friends who I had picked. They all thought it was pretty crazy except for Mommy. She said that Daddy should go bet a hundred dollars on the Seahawks. He didn’t. But he and Mommy swore that if the Seahawks won the Superbowl, they’d become lifelong fans.

Five months later, on the day before my funeral, the Seahawks became the first team to ever go to the playoffs with a losing record.

On January 8, they defeated the reigning Superbowl champion New Orleans Saints, and advanced to the next round of the playoffs.

Unfortunately, the Seahawk’s Cinderella-season came to an end the following week, as they lost to the Chicago Bears 24-35. Still, the Seahawks made me, Mommy and Daddy very proud. In fact, Mommy and Daddy still keep their eyes open for discount Marshawn Lynch jerseys!

On June 11th, Mommy and Daddy went to the doctor’s to see me one more time. The ultrasound technician was trying to see me, but I was not cooperating. After fifteen minutes of fussing, the technician finally got a good look at me. She said that she was very worried and called the doctor in to take a look. At that point, Mommy and Daddy were very confused and started to cry because they did not know what was going on. When the doctor looked at the ultrasound, she said that they were not seeing as much brain as they would expect. She then told Mommy and Daddy that they needed to go see a specialist named, appropriately, Dr. Grace.

They had to wait two hours before they could see Dr. Grace. Mommy and Daddy said this was the longest two hours of their life. They did not truly understand what was going on, but they called their friends and asked them to pray for me.

They finally saw Dr. Grace, who did another ultrasound. He brought them into his office and explained that I had a fatal condition called anencephaly. He explained that my head had not formed properly, as well as lots of other details you can read about at my anencephaly page. He also explained that Mommy and Daddy needed to decide whether or not to keep me for the rest of the pregnancy.

After we left Dr. Grace’s office, Mommy and Daddy called their families to explain what was going on. They spent the rest of the day with family, and did a lot of crying.

By the end of the day, Mommy and Daddy knew that they would keep me for as long as I would stick around.

I’m sure glad they did, because we had a lot of fun over the next six months!

Mommy and Daddy went to the doctor’s at the end of April, the doctor confirmed that Mommy was pregnant. They were very excited. The very next day, Nonno and Nonna Ferruzza came over to our house, so Mommy and Daddy told them. They also told Zia Amalia and Zio Mario. Zia Amalia was especially excited because she was also pregnant with my cousin Adriana! Mommy and Daddy went to visit with Grandpa and Grandma Lane that weekend. Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Sarah were very, very excited.

On May 14th, Mommy and Daddy got their first glance at me. They started calling me “peanut,” which was a name that stuck with me for much of the pregnancy. Once they got pictures, they went straight to Nonno and Nonna’s house to show them. They also uploaded the photos to show Grandpa and Grandma Lane.

Everyone was thrilled to see the photos … although not everyone was quite sure which way was up!

On April 11, 2010, Mommy took a pregnancy test. Neither she nor Daddy could figure out the result … seriously. Two college-educated adults couldn’t read the thing! Everything you’ve seen in movies, where women are staring at the instructions like they are instructions for disabling an atomic reactor? It’s totally true.

“One line if you’re pregnant, two lines if you’re not.”

Sounds easy, but what if you have one solid line, and one very faint line that you could just be imagining? Mommy and Daddy didn’t know if they should be excited … but they did know they were confused. So a few hours later, Daddy sat down on the couch and waited patiently while Mommy took a digital pregnancy test upstairs. He sat and waited.

And waited … and waited …

Finally, he heard the bathroom door open, as Mommy started walking around upstairs, grabbing laundry and making the bed.

Five minutes later, Mommy came down the stairs and saw Daddy still sitting on the couch.

“Well?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m pregnant” she replied.

“When did you plan on telling me?”

“I just did.”

Touché.